Fuck them

Just got reminded of why I hate southwest. These fucking brats are so disrespectful to their neighbors. They don't even care. All they want to do is drink and be fucking loudass wastes. And how fucking hard is it not to cause fucking trouble? These pieces of shit are even told how to get away with stuff and they still fuck it up. No wonder southwest kids are looked down upon for being so pathetic and dumb. Yet another reason that UMass sucks, I suppose. Parents send their ungrateful brats to this trash school because they cannot get into a quality place since they are too fucking stupid and loads of them end up in southwest. All they want to do is waste their time on their parents' dime. I fucking loathe every one of them. This is why I enjoyed living everywhere else but here. Oh well, I'll keep doing my job and give these brats only what they deserve.

Chilling Out

Another MyStudentBody.com article:

"You're in college. You probably have a million things going on and not enough time to get them all done. When you feel overwhelmed and stressed out, there are a few things you can try to relax and make yourself feel a lot better. Check out the tips below:

Exercise. It will release endorphins that make you feel good. Try going for a run or taking a yoga class. Activities like karate or kickboxing can help you work out anger and make you feel like you’re back in control.

Try meditation. Find a quiet spot and clear your mind. Take some deep breaths and focus on one word while you control your breathing and relax your body.

Take a nap. If you are overtired, those everyday hassles can seem so much worse than they really are. After some shut-eye, take another look at the problem and consider some solutions. Chances are, the problem will seem much more manageable.

Retreat to a quiet corner with a book. Read for pleasure and get lost in a fantasy, science-fiction, or romance novel.

Gain perspective. Take a step back and look at the big picture. You'll probably realize that the problem is not the end of the world and that you can handle it.

Make a list of all the things you need to get done and prioritize them. This will help you remember everything you need to do and make it easier to get the most important things done first.

Get spiritual. Even if your parents had to drag you kicking and screaming to church or temple when you were little, the familiar community can help you de-stress when you’re feeling alone away from home.

Call a trusted friend. Talking to someone always helps. Friends can help you see a new perspective and help you come up with possible solutions.

Get a massage. If you can afford it, pay a professional. Massage training schools very often have reasonable prices. If money is an issue, trade massages with a friend.

Get out of your room. It may seem like the last thing you need, but a well-planned hour doing something fun can make you more productive during the other 23.

Listen to music. Any music. For extra de-stressing, jump around and sing and dance, too!

Don’t forget the body contact. Whether it’s cuddling, hugs, or something more intimate, being physically close with someone you trust can help you wind down, especially if you don’t want to talk about what’s bothering you.

Write in a journal. Getting feelings down on paper can really help.

Say no. Taking on too many commitments is a major cause of stress. Let people know when you’ve got too much on your plate.

Clean your room. Keeping things organized makes everyday life easier and can help you clear your thoughts while you clear the decks.

Talk to a professional. Friends are great, but sometimes you need more help than they can give. Or you just don’t want to take the risk of something getting out to your entire crew. Try campus counseling services to ensure privacy. "

Boosting My Mood

Got this from MyStudentBody.com, this online course I had to do for Res Life, but this particular section I liked and want to incorporate into my life:

"If you really want to relax, try some of the following tricks:

1) Make sure to eat breakfast. Even if you just grab an apple on the way to class, having some food in your system will improve your mood.

2) Brighten up your day, literally. If the dim lighting in lecture hall makes you sleepy, try to sit by a window or at least sit in the front row. Have lunch outside in the sun or walk outside between classes to keep yourself focused.

3) Revert back to preschool and take a nap. Whether it’s 20 minutes before you head out for the night with friends, or a quick catnap before your next class, you’ll be surprised by what a difference sleep makes.

4) Even if you're down and don’t feel like doing anything, going out with friends may be the best thing for you. Tap on your friends for entertainment. Plan a night out with some buddies: go to a movie, get some coffee and ice cream, or just invite some friends over for board games and appetizers to take your mind off everything else.

5) Set your alarm to good music. It's bad enough getting up when you don't want to; there's no reason to jar yourself out of bed with that infernal beeping.

6) Get up earlier than you have to. Being rushed in the morning is going to make you feel disgruntled later. Leave yourself time to lounge around and maybe catch the morning news.

7) Even if your dancing skills are not superb, you can still have fun popping in your favorite CD and getting your groove on in the privacy of your room. Music is a definite mood booster.

8) Eat fruit. The energy you’ll feel from the natural sugars in fruit can give you a much-needed lift in the morning, or any time of day.

9) Exercise on a regular basis. Although it may be the last thing you feel like doing, exercise will kick the happy endorphins into high gear. Make exercise part of your daily routine. You'll end up happier and healthier and will even sleep better."

Spring '06 soon

It's Thursday and I'm going back to UMass on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it all around and I have a positive outlook on this spring. Though I won't be done with school at semester's end, some friends will be and so I have to get some quality time in with them before they go. I figure this is why it'll be a great semester. I also have a better plan for myself, just routine stuff, but I figure it's going to help me out immensely.

"If you care about your health, if you enjoy being fit, if you train correctly, you should always be able to run ...always." ~ American Running Association.

Doot Doot

I wish to answer this question for myself:

What is happiness to me?

Needles

Yeah so this weekend I really discovered how much I hate needles. They freak me out so much so that just the thought that in a couple of weeks I am scheduled to have some blood drawn has made me horrifically ill. Friday night I was so sick, almost randomly too if it had been for anything real, that I threw up. After thinking about the needle thing again tonight, I got so anxious that I was sick to my stomach. I wish this was not my way. To no surprise, I have accepted that probably all of my problems in life are entirely just in my head. After years of rejection, I have finally decided to take up therapy for my own benefit and to hopefully find some means of relaxation in life.

Be Happy, Be Healthy

Kinda I want to

Something that I wrote sometime between 1998 and 2002:

"Only through discussion can you gain true insight, and that is why I disclose myself to many, so that they can gain insight into who I am."

I used to randomly write down my oh-so random thoughts. Is that bad? I can remember having urges of telling people "everything" about me, like when I first met Missy. This is where I got my thought. I guess that it was my lack of confidence in myself back then of which I wanted to legitimize myself through conversing with and thus being accepted by others. Those that would pass the time by chatting with me always showed me a positive attitude, which in turn made me feel good about myself and it showed that they were actually interested in what I had to say. I do not talk with others much like I used to do. I usually feel like I never have anything to say.

Bring on the new year

As is tradition to reflect on a year ending and to look to better oneself in a new year, I want to write down some things that I want to do to change my life a bit in 2006:

Get healthy
After a year in which I found my health diminishing with issues such as my heart racing when awaking from sleep, I would like to return to my strength and conditioning program that I used to live by in high school. Running would be excellent, as well. I would also like to see myself begin to eat healthier too, and drastically change my diet.

Learn guitar
I want to finally commit several hours a week learn guitar and going from there. Just the little bit that I played back in Orchard Hill got me to appreciate guitar play a lot more when listening to music. I finally would like to play along.

Find a legit job with which to be happy
A year from now, when 2006 is over and 2007 is coming, I will no longer be an undergrad at UMass. Hopefully I will be living close to Boston with MeF, as well. So my intentions are to really grab hold of my abilities and take charge of my life.

Find a girl?
While women ceaselessly piss me off, I have always held true that some girl is out there worth waiting for, and hopefully I find her.

In retrospect, 2005 brought me closer to finding who I really am and I feel better for it. As always, there were both ups and downs, but I keep a relatively positive attitude about things. I have some good things going for me in the beginning of 2006 and hopefully all will be well.

Long time coming...

Well, it's been a while since I last had the chance to write. I made it home with relative ease last week. It worked out real well leaving early in the morning, rather than my usual mid-afternoon departure. So that was my Thursday.

On Friday, I unpacked a little bit but mostly prepared myself for my first night out since coming home. I went to Ashley's private "reunion" party which was okay. But it reminded me that I still do not want to converse with many kids that I graduated with, though since high school I have had many pleasant encounters with them. But we left sort of early, even leaving Tim behind. MeF, me, Nicole & Kenny wanted to head to Nigel's party. To no surprise, it was a great time. I got to see loads of the old XC crew.

Christmas Eve was okay, though I had been somewhat ill (the way I used to be in high school) from all the pepperoni I had eaten at Nigel's party. Go figure.

Christmas was okay, too, though it's never anything special anymore. My family and I stayed home for the first time and it was weird not opening gifts in the morning. I did not really want anything for Christmas, and so nothing was too exciting for me.

I have just been sitting around, continuing to unpack and clean since Sunday. I am hopeful to get up and running for this weekend and continue it forever and ever...

Checklist

Stuff to bring home:
~Computer
~monitor (widescreen only)
~keyboard + mouse; ethernet cable
~cell phone; charger; headset
~vitamins; NIN concert tickets
~2 books to read
~mag. light
~dirty laundry

-socks?
-pajama pants?
-sweaters?
-Tshirts?

Almost out

I slept in Orchard Hill for the last time of Fall 2005 this past night. Nicole is moving home right about now, and I feel somewhat sad about it. It most certainly will be the last time ever that things are the way they have been. I could not help myself slighting the situation a bit and not just enjoying the time last night. I do not understand why I do the things that I do sometime. I ought to have just enjoyed it and had a good time. It was, after all, our last night together on campus. I do not know that next semester will be at all similar. But, another chapter in my life is ending.