*sigh*

I really just want to go through the motions this week. I don't want to feel anything as I do all the important things to do everyday from now until Friday. This is too much to deal with and I don't want to deal.

I wish I would expose my stress externally, like flipping out or jumping about like Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, instead of having my subconscious mess with me and have things bother me internally like with my stomach problems and canker sores. I can feel so calm, even under pressure, yet things can ruin me physically and emotionally without my control because it happens internally and basically without my knowledge.