That's No Way to Say Goodbye

I feel like I am coming to the end of a road with my friend. It makes me feel like the part of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind when Joel gives up trying to hide Clementine in his deep memories in order to not lose her forever, knowing that it can't work and that their efforts were futile. Rather than keep trying to hide, he accepts that it's going to end. Enjoy it. "I want to enjoy my little time left with you," he says. Say goodbye. I've been reminded of what it is like to have a good friend to spend time with and have no worries or cares about keeping or losing that friend. That was always what I had to worry about, losing a friend, but not ever since I just stopped caring. It's easier to live without concern over no one but yourself, but it was nice to have that warm feeling of true friendship again. Though now, again I do care. I'm going to lose this connection that I have with her that is different somehow from my other friends. But I guess everyone is different.

The uncertainty of when it'll end is all that I do not know, so I'm just going moment to moment, enjoying them with my friend. It can end as soon as a few days from now, or not for another month. But eventually, it will be gone. The moments, that is. The instances when I have a friend to go to. No one is dying, but leaving we'll be. Nor will the moments we have shared die, none of them ever have really, but the chance to create memories and remembrances like we have been will be ending soon.